I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
