Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
