thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
