I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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