Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
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we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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