Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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