I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
