Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.

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(818): View more from California

I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight

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(954): View more from Florida

I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.

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(770): View more from Georgia

should I fuck that poor girl

(1-770): View more from Georgia

no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"

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(214): View more from Texas

It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...

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(773): View more from Illinois

Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.

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(916): View more from California

Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.

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