Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

hey. who tried to drive me home last night?

(904): View more from Florida

not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?

(850): View more from Florida

i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.

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(850): hey. who tried to drive me home last night? (904): not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"? (850): i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants. http://tfl.nu/wk6x

Replies (33) Good night (21759) Bad night (2221)
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(281): View more from Texas

Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.

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(281): Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit. http://tfl.nu/j2fi

Replies (27) Good night (1503) Bad night (4190)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.

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(616): I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico. http://tfl.nu/ms4f

Replies (8) Good night (5081) Bad night (966)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"

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(970): Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet" http://tfl.nu/xuid

Replies (13) Good night (4294) Bad night (1861)
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(214): View more from Texas

I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests

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(214): I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests http://tfl.nu/7t18

Replies (9) Good night (3410) Bad night (971)
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(661): View more from California

1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.

(1-661): View more from California

1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up

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(661): 1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place. (1-661): 1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up http://tfl.nu/wu9m

Replies (12) Good night (4496) Bad night (1119)
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(210): View more from Texas

The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced

(210): View more from Texas

The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks

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(210): The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced (210): The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks http://tfl.nu/kwln

Replies (6) Good night (1758) Bad night (735)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....

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(267): I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa.... http://tfl.nu/2i55

Replies (6) Good night (2506) Bad night (650)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is

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(715): i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is http://tfl.nu/reex

Replies (19) Good night (1452) Bad night (770)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language

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(763): It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language http://tfl.nu/6vub

Replies (4) Good night (1881) Bad night (1258)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world

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(+61): I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world http://tfl.nu/cuud

Replies (1) Good night (883) Bad night (475)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us

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(403): The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us http://tfl.nu/rgjh

Replies (6) Good night (909) Bad night (416)
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(913): View more from Kansas

The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"

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(913): The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual" http://tfl.nu/c1s6

Replies (1) Good night (843) Bad night (275)
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(804): View more from Virginia

The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.

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(804): The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me. http://tfl.nu/s0vs

Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (266)
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(317): View more from Indiana

If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.

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(317): If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy. http://tfl.nu/4eke

Replies (8) Good night (862) Bad night (525)

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