Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater

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(905): I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater http://tfl.nu/5s3p

Replies (19) Good night (1045) Bad night (3395)
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(404): View more from Georgia

don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts

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(404): don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts http://tfl.nu/dnse

Replies (13) Good night (4318) Bad night (1182)
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(516): View more from New York

I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.

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(516): I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified. http://tfl.nu/1mep

Replies (21) Good night (1241) Bad night (3725)
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(614): View more from Ohio

This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?

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(614): This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off? http://tfl.nu/dr6k

Replies (10) Good night (1522) Bad night (1293)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.

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(902): Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog. http://tfl.nu/wgn2

Replies (5) Good night (2129) Bad night (1007)
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(310): View more from California

I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*

(310): View more from California

Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.

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(310): I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.* (310): Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche. http://tfl.nu/gxdj

Replies (12) Good night (3030) Bad night (876)
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(845): View more from New York

I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties

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(845): I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties http://tfl.nu/lvqb

Replies (12) Good night (2544) Bad night (675)
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(480): View more from Arizona

You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.

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(480): You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that. http://tfl.nu/96f7

Replies (30) Good night (1377) Bad night (1799)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster

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(908): Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster http://tfl.nu/yuhk

Replies (4) Good night (571) Bad night (1457)
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(334): View more from Alabama

i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"

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(334): i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?" http://tfl.nu/0fwx

Replies (7) Good night (713) Bad night (1628)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.

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(613): Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook. http://tfl.nu/9inf

Replies (5) Good night (1659) Bad night (487)
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(323): View more from California

Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?

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(323): Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing? http://tfl.nu/7p41

Replies (6) Good night (594) Bad night (520)
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(716): View more from New York

He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.

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(716): He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do. http://tfl.nu/0qz8

Replies (3) Good night (602) Bad night (508)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best

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(503): I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best http://tfl.nu/0r3u

Replies (3) Good night (530) Bad night (236)
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(409): View more from Texas

god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT

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(409): god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT http://tfl.nu/3fvk

Replies (1) Good night (310) Bad night (294)

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