Texts From Last Night

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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.

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  (256): I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light. http://tfl.nu/687c
  Replies (21) Good night (849) Bad night (3648)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  love makes seman taste better

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  (937): love makes seman taste better http://tfl.nu/bxjy
  Replies (37) Good night (4694) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.

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  (805): my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad. http://tfl.nu/fiwi
  Replies (43) Good night (1444) Bad night (14391)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.

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  (304): He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated. http://tfl.nu/okg6
  Replies (8) Good night (3252) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.

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  (631): Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick. http://tfl.nu/pj3f
  Replies (12) Good night (3953) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.

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  (717): thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape. http://tfl.nu/7lpf
  Replies (8) Good night (3835) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake

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  (503): We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake http://tfl.nu/m3xg
  Replies (13) Good night (3345) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.

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  (248): I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back. http://tfl.nu/312y
  Replies (9) Good night (1731) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.

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  (646): I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly. http://tfl.nu/khhz
  Replies (11) Good night (2180) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.

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  (940): She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick. http://tfl.nu/jiew
  Replies (9) Good night (2090) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (424): View more from California

  I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.

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  (424): I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster. (479): This lesson is brought you by a psychology class. http://tfl.nu/4ga3
  Replies (8) Good night (1510) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.

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  (307): Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex. http://tfl.nu/mrat
  Replies (7) Good night (1806) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.

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  (416): Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes. http://tfl.nu/v9h7
  Replies (1) Good night (783) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night

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  (701): I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night http://tfl.nu/x7bo
  Replies (1) Good night (231) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.

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  (773): you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter. http://tfl.nu/7j29
  Replies (0) Good night (586) Bad night (182)

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