shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
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What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
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True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.