Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
