Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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