i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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