She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
