glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize