I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
