She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
