thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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