Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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