he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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