sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
