dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize