no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize