True but thats because hes a fetus.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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