I wish life had little blips of pornography
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
