How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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