hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
