I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
