i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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