ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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