this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
