she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
