I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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