bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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