Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
