Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize