I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
