And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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