And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
