awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
