When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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