everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
