covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize