You work out of a Hotel?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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