In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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