i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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