id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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