Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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