yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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