Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
