Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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