Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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