if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
