I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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