The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
