She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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